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Sleeping with my stepmother11/14/2023 ![]() I do get aroused, though, hence the frequent reading of erotica. My libido has increased, but this problem has not gotten any better. This is an ongoing problem since before I started T, but I kind of hoped that it might help, based on the testimonials I read from others about libido increase. Even fondling my bottom growth feels more like rubbing a healing wound than anything I’d classify as nice. Touching myself anywhere ranges from vaguely uncomfortable to sort of gross, even when it’s not being affected by dysphoria. I read a lot of erotica, especially by other trans men. That said: I’m confused that my body doesn’t seem to process pleasure normally. ![]() I’m not really going to stand for bullshit heteronormativity inside my subconscious, but on the other hand, it feels very much unqueer to start dating people I’m not attracted to just because that’s how I think I should feel. This is a tough area for me to talk about since there’s obviously a lot of ugly opinions out there about trans genitalia, so this is understandably an area of conversation where it’s easy to stumble on different rhetorical landmines. On the other hand, I don’t really feel like I’m really interested in the experiences that are available to me, and I’m not sure how to express my preference in a non-hurtful way. ![]() On the one hand, I feel like I should try to be more open-minded and try to explore the full spectrum of sexual experience that’s available to me. But at the same time, I feel like a piece of shit for that preference, like I’m perpetuating the same kind of transphobia that’s limiting my dating options in the first place. ![]() In general, I really prefer to date people who are assigned female at birth, because cunnilingus is the main thing I’m interested in performing sexually. One factor I feel really guilty about is most of the attention I get on dating apps is from other trans women whom I just don’t find attractive. At this point, after half a decade of hormones, I’m happy with my body, but I’ve had trouble finding relationships. I haven’t had a relationship in almost a decade, long before I even considered transitioning. I’m a 30-year-old lesbian trans woman, and I am THIRSTY. Further, this is a tremendous betrayal of your mother. It’s your parent’s job to know this he has failed. This is especially troubling for someone who, while legally of age, has yet to fully develop mentally and emotionally. You describe the premise of this arrangement as educational, but gestalt of a stepfather-stepdaughter relationship is so outside the realm of typical sexual development as to present you with a warped and impractical understanding of sexual dynamics. He is at this point a biased source and cannot be fairly trusted regarding how sex works. He is more than a mere father figure you call him “Dad.” You’ve already demonstrated the effect this is having on your burgeoning sexual psyche, as he has told you things about men that are, at most charitable, distortions. This is a sexual relationship with a very clear-cut disparity in power. Maybe I should quit while I am ahead.īeyond the tangle of ethical issues-including the framing of this as all your idea that has been met with protests and a seeming lack of overt coercion on the part of your stepfather-there are some glaring moral infractions that no amount of humanizing detail can rectify. I’m going to school next year where I have been assured that there are smart, interesting men. ![]() Suppose some future boyfriend wants to know where I learned how to do all this stuff. But we have done so much already, would it really matter if we did just one more thing? Also, I have become something of an expert on things that not even my girlfriends have done. I would die if Dad ever got in trouble because of me. If we stop now and if, God forbid, we are ever found out, at least we could say that we never had real sex. (All the boys imagine me naked and in bed with them? ALL of them?) I don’t want to lose him as a trusted source of intelligence from the other side. And he has told me things about how boys and men think about women. But if we have sex and it is awesome, maybe I will start to want him. He and my mom have a loving, affectionate relationship which I am not jealous of. I can’t deny that I find my stepdad attractive, but I don’t lust after him. I worry that taking this last step will change things in a permanent way. ![]()
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